I'm actually starting to get really disappointed with the actions of the some of the people in my YSA Ward. Actually, it's been happening for a while, I've just been noticing it a lot more. Don't know why, really. Oh well. What really gets me is the whole dating aspect of it. I was at the Institute after my scriptwriting class and was talking with a few people about dating and whatnot, and one of the girls from my ward was there. She currently has a boyfriend who lives in Arizona (I don't know how she does it. Or why, for that matter, long distance relationships are the stupidest things in the world) and she was saying that even if they weren't dating, she wouldn't even consider dating any of the guys from our Ward. What?! Why? That doesn't make any sense! Her excuse was that there was no one worth dating.
Now, some of you know who I'm talking about here, so many of you may be thinking that it's just the way she is to have a response like that. And that may be true. But it got me wondering if it's the general feeling among not just the girls, but the guys of the Ward as well. It just boggles the mind! I see plenty of attractive, single (or not engaged, at least), girls in the Ward. Many of whom, I know complains that they can't ever get dates. I haven't talked to the guys about this (it's like pulling teeth to get them to even do their home teaching, which I'm hoping the girls will help with ;D), but I can't help but think that it's the same feeling for them as well. Has it seriously gotten to the point where we have to look in other places to find what we think we're looking for? Have we truly forgotten to look in front of our own faces?!
Another thing that's related to this: STOP THE HYPOCRISY! Honestly, now. For you girls, don't say that you want the "nice guy" and then chase the jerk-offs! I'm not sure you understand how it makes the nice guys actually feel, or how it makes you look. When girls say that they want the "nice guy", it gives them hope that they could land someone who is (and I'm going to sound shallow here, but it's needed) hot. But for them to then go around and chase the guys that are EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE, it sends a message that it was only lip service, and the nice guys end up settling for what they can get. The same goes for the guys as well. For those in the Church and returned missionaries, don't say that you want a girl that you can take to the temple and then go after the girls that could end up getting you excommunicated, or at the very least your temple recommend taken away.
Now, I will admit, the guys have been a bit lacking in the asking girls out category, and I'm no exception. But that doesn't mean that the girls can't take initiative either. "But it's not our job! It's yours!" So? It's not like you're asking for a ring. It's just for the two of you to hang out, get to know each other better, and see if you two are who you're both looking for in a spouse. There's no commitment other than for a few hours, then it's over and you can decide from there.
There's also no need to go searching for a boyfriend or girlfriend right off the bat until after you've "shopped around". David Mikel, a fireside speaker from the 1970s, actually gave a great analogy when it came to this. He called it "The Top 10 List and The Vanilla Theory". It's really more two different analogies of the same principle, but it works.
Anyway, everyone who's single has a top 10 list of people they like, whether it's written down or in your head, or whatever. In a top 10 music countdown, how do they know what is number 1? And does it stay at number 1? Very rarely will a song stay at number 1 on the countdown for more than a month. The list constantly changes. It's the same with the list. How do you know, girls, that the "hottie" at number 1 is really number 1? What about number 8? What about number 17? You never know until you try them out.
Think of it this way: I take one girl to get some ice cream at Cold Stone (Brother Mikel uses Baskin Robins, but Cold Stone's better), and say that she could get any combination she wanted. She orders a vanilla with chocolate chips, nothing else. OK. I tell her about the combinations she can get, even those that aren't on the signs. But she says that she's comfortable with vanilla and chocolate chips. I ask her if she's tried any of the other combinations. "No". "Well, how do you know if you won't like them better?" "Because I like this, so I'm sticking with it". OK…So I take another girl to Cold Stone and do the same thing. She orders vanilla and chocolate chips. Here we go again, I think, and I tell her about the other combinations. "Oh, I know. I've tried (insert random combos here) but I still like vanilla and chocolate chips best".
Do you see what I'm getting at? So stop complaining that there's no one to date and start looking in front of your nose! The one who you're looking for may be right there.
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