It needs to be done

Here I am, yet again making another midnight blog. I really should try getting to sleep earlier. Ah, I'll worry about that later.

It's amazing the type of things that are posted about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. When you go online and Google it, about 1 out of every 10 pages is friendly toward the Church. And the ones that aren't? Well, they say the same things; Joseph Smith was a liar and a fraud, the Book of Mormon is false and here's why, etc. etc.

Why do they do this? Why do they feel like they must rape the unsuspecting of their faith? I'll admit, I fell into that trap when I was in high school. There was a dark period in my life when I delved deep into anti-Mormon literature. I mean, everything I could get my hands on, Jerald and Sandra Tanner, Ed Decker, Walter Martin, Mike Norton, and others. I wanted to know about what it was these people were saying, and why they were saying it. I dove so deep into it, that I ended up believing it myself. You couple that with the fact that no one, it seemed in the Church wanted me around that I just gave up. I went to seminary during that time simply because I needed the ride to school. Inwardly, I was scoffing at what was being taught.

So what happened? Why was I feeling this way? Paul taught that we can know the true influence of the Spirit by their fruits (see Galatians 4:22-23) and the Savior taught that we can know if people work through the Spirit by their fruits (see 3 Nephi 14:20 and Matthew 7:20). In order to understand the anti-Mormon agenda, we need to understand those two principles: Are they influenced by the Spirit of God and do we feel the Spirit when we come in contact with them. If the answer is "no", then there's a problem.

Critics of the LDS Church want to degrade those who are searching or otherwise investigating the Church and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They will use many different tactics. One of those is and outward attack. This could be physical, mental, or verbal, not unlike what the Saints experienced in the early days of the Church or even during the days of the Ancient Church. Another is that of a counterfeit of logic. They present things about the Church that are twisted in such a way, that they pass them off as fact. The easiest indication of this is if you get a book, or go to a webpage and they quote someone who was in leadership in the early days of the Church. If they have "…" anywhere in that quote, red flags should shoot up. More than likely, they have been taken out of context.

For example: many prominent anti-Mormons like to use "…" when using quotes from the Journal of Discourses. A couple of things to remember: Though the First Presidency endorsed the publication of the Journal there was no endorsement as to the accuracy or reliability of the contents. There were occasions when the accuracy was questionable. The accounts were not always cleared by the speakers because of problems of time and distance. This was especially true during the persecution of the 1880s, which finally forced the cessation of publication. Also, doctrinally, members of the Church were growing and learning. Most adults were converts who had to unlearn and relearn many doctrines. They were learning things that our children learn in Primary and Sunday School. Remarks were frequently impromptu. Close, friendly audiences frequently invited informal discussion of varied topics. There was occasional speculation about doctrines that have since been determined unimportant or even misleading. When it comes to the Journal of Discourses, it is an excellent tool, but it is not the primary source of doctrine. We need to remember that we receive our doctrine from the scriptures (The Bible, the Book of Mormon, The Pearl of Great Price, and the Doctrine and Covenants) as well as from the council of living Prophets and Apostles.

There are many things that are brought up by these people and it is impossible to shake them, no matter where we go in the world. They are there to try our faith, I know mine was. I have come back to the Church stronger than ever. Am I where I want to be yet? Not even close. But then, that's the beauty of eternal progression. I don't know about you, but I want to be better than I am. Knowing what I know to be right and true has shaped me into who I am now and is shaping me into who I am destined to become.

So what should we do when we come up against anti-Mormon filth? Go to someone who is knowledgeable of the Gospel. Someone who can teach you the plain truth. Don't be offended if they don't know. It is possible for someone not to know an answer to a question of this nature. When this happens, pray. God is your Father and wants what is best for you. He doesn't want you to be wandering in confusion. Keep in mind the words of Paul and the Savior. What is the outcome of these materials? Do they inspire people for the greater good or do they degrade and put down without much, if any, means of improvement? Do they prompt you to be better? Do they prompt you to serve God, and if you feel they do, how?

Remember to pray always. Keep close to the Spirit that you may know how to recognize what is for God, and what is there to attempt to overthrow His kingdom. I like repeating the words of Bruce R. McConkie right before he died when he said "I know independently of any other person that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God. And when I see Him, I will fall at His feet and bathe them with my tears".

I may be slipping into old habits

Not exactly the best thing for me to be doing. Still…Interesting…very interesting…

Friday, I went to a missionary lesson for a friend of mine. She's sooooooo close everyone can taste it. Now it's just a matter of when. When is she willing to commit to being baptized? Really, she's the only one who can make that call. No one can make it for her. I was kind of upset at the Sisters not going after the opportunity when it was there to put her on date, but then, that might just be that tiny bit of Ashtonite that I actually have in me. I'll just have to trust them in what they were doing…even if they did catch it.

The Spirit is an interesting thing. During the lesson, I was able to actually help out a little more with the lesson, I felt, than I did the first time I tagged along. I think it might be because she's actually considering baptism now. Again, we'll see.

Side note: KBYU e-mailed me saying that they want the Spec for YSA. BOO-YA!!!

So Saturday was my sister's going away bonfire at Mission Beach. We only had one pallet of wood up until about 10. It's too bad that people wanted to leave by then. Oh well. The rest of the wood was just piled on top and made a huge inferno that could have engulfed everything. It didn't, though. It was fun, even though I left my capo at the beach. It was a nice capo…Ah, I'll just get a new one for $5. That's how much that one cost in the first place.

So I was also able to reconnect with a friend I met at the YSA dance last month last night. That was cool. I ended up rescuing her from some rude people at the mall and she came with me and one of my sister's friends. She not a member, though, even though I was able to talk to her about Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, and Celestial Marriage (she liked that one the best). There may be some FTC involved, but we'll see. There's an 80's themed dance on Friday, so maybe we'll see how that goes with her. If there is some way I can get her to go to our Church, I am almost certain that she would want to be baptized whether or not I was in her Ward or not. Hmm….a lot of consider…

Side note #2: I now know what track I'm on for BYU-Idaho. I'm on the Winter/Spring track. Watch out, Rexburg! De Mont's coming back!! Not for 6 months, but still! Now, all I need to worry about is paying for the thing…

Musings at 3 AM

I can't sleep. There's too much running through my mind. Maybe blogging might help. We'll see.

We'll start with an update. There's not really much detail I can (or should) go into, but let's just say that change is definitely in the air. My first counselor decided to leave the Ward. His excuse was that he was moving even further out in the middle of nowhere practically. And while that's a valid excuse, I think it lies deeper than that. Ever since his last relationship ended, I think it's been awkward for him. I can't blame him really, even though, the way he ended it was not the right way to go about it. Whatever. So now, I'm on the lookout for another. At least for the amount of time that I'm still here. Still, if I want to make a noticeable difference, I need a first counselor. The Bishop suggested someone and I think it might be a good idea. I need to make a temple trip to figure out this and other questions.

I'm not sure how much respect I have among those I serve, or even among those who I want to call my friends. It seems since I became Elder's Quorum President, that even more people can't seem to take me seriously; almost as if they still have a hard time seeing past who I was, or who they thought I was. It's been at least 5 years for most of these people and yet they still can't seem to get over themselves and make the effort to do much of anything. I wonder if this is how David felt. Granted, he had an automatic in with those people. I don't. I don't know, it just makes me wonder how I can reach the members of the quorum without coming down on them like I did a couple of times before. When it comes to the friends aspect, I know there's at least 4 people my age who are members that I know are my friends. The rest…I don't know. I wonder if the others I should consider friends at all. Mainly because they're people that my sister usually hangs around and I'm usually the taxi driver. I know I joke about it with them sometimes, but it's still there in the back of my mind. Right now, it's a mystery. Am I nothing but a chauffeur to them? It also makes me wonder how things will be between me and them in a month when my sister leaves. I would like things to stay the same and see where things go, but I doubt they will. More than likely they'll go in a direction I don't want. Hell, it's already doing that anyway.

Love is also a very confusing beast. My sister has at least 6 guys who she knows are chasing her, and some she wishes they were. One of the six is a mutual feeling (I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about this. The guy is about 6 inches taller than me, but the hilarious thing is that I think he is genuinely afraid of me, like terrified) and she's hooked up with him. On the one hand, I'm happy for her. She finally found someone who makes her happy right now. On the other, the dude is not a Member, and while he's a cool guy, I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with her dating the guy. We'll see how it goes. Then there's me. Broken up with my last girlfriend since March due to an answer from the Lord that, at the time, I did not want. Attracted to girls that I either can't have, don't want me, or are way out of my league. I don't know what to do. Should I just hold out until I leave myself? Or should I keep trying and keep looking? The thing is, most of the time, I just want to have fun. I'm not even sure if I want a relationship again. Beni-friends could be good, though. But even then...I tried that before and while it was very fun at the time, looking back I realized that I felt hollow. Do I really want that again? And should I really encourage it with others? Probably not. Still…it's tempting…

Vent doors are now closing. I'm about to collapse on the keyboard.

What Is Love?

It seems like I'm using this thing more for rants than anything else. Oh well. So long as it gets done right? Anyway, update time first!

Things are changing all around for everyone. I got accepted to BYU-Idaho for the winter semester and right now I'm saving up for that. It's about time, is all I can say. But then that means I have six months to get the money required for tuition, books, living expenses and a place to live. Looks like the random adventures are going to take a backseat to a few things. We're down to two cars again because one died on us. Again, about time. It's a good thing but it's also sucking because we have to go back to how we were about a month ago. Whatever.

Anyway, the issue that drove me to make this post! This past week I've made a few new friends that remind me of some of my friends in high school. Not necessarily the best crowd, but still good people, nonetheless. Anyway, there was a couple that was there who we were having these bonfire parties for because they were moving to Arizona. He left earlier today and she is (supposedly) leaving in two weeks. She's one of my sister's best friends outside of the Church, and I can understand that. Honestly, this girl would be an amazing member if she just wanted to be. There are a few problems though…

First off, her boyfriend. The dude as a person is cool and all, but for her is a complete jerk-off. He doesn't respect her at all. He says that he loves her, but a closer look shows that he's in it only for the sex. She, on the other hand, has fallen head over heels for this guy, and would go out of her way to make him happy. But at what expense? Her self-esteem is so low, it's depressing. She has it in her head that she isn't needed by anyone, that she isn't even wanted by anyone but this dude. That is a damned lie. And yet she believes it. Unfortunately, I don't think she understands what love truly is.

So what is love? Is it just the feeling that we get when we're around our family, or in this case, the one who we're considering spending the rest of our lives (or even eternity) with? No. It's more than that. It's respect. It's selflessness. Not selfishness. In this case, it's not the sex that shows your love. In fact, I will go so far to say that it's abstinence until the ring is on the finger and the paper is signed. It's believing that that other person looks better in sweats than in the latest fashions, whatever they may be.

It's unfortunate that people in the world today can't seem to see past the physical. Why do we have to live in such a selfish world? I won't have it anymore. It has to stop. People have to start living for others. We need to get back to the basic values that we held before now. The silent majority cannot be silent anymore. The radical minority must be silenced. Not by weapon. But by love in its truest form. The Love of Christ. Eternal Love.

I think I'm going emo...

So this has been an interesting couple of weeks. You know, ever since I've been home, I would have thought that things would have been better. In a way, they have been, because people are starting to realize that I am not the same guy they thought they knew in high school. I want to say that I've changed for the better but, then again, I don't know. It's been an interesting ride this last couple of months.

Anyway, this week. It seems that with my new calling, people tend to start coming to me for their problems and advice and whatnot. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind it, sometimes I enjoy it, but there have been things that have come up and situations that have happened that have made me disappointed in some people. One of those people is myself.

I don't know why I have such a hard time doing some of the things that I was looking forward to doing when I was on my mission. I was recently told that with one of the things it was because I'm actually "looking for something" now. Yes and no. Before the mish, it was all fun and games, and a part of me knew that they weren't going to last. Maybe it's some old fears playing a part again.

The thing is, it didn't hit this hard until this weekend. Those things that happened threw me for a loop and I started thinking about the things I did in the past and how it must have made other people feel when I did similar things. This brings up another question, why is this affecting me so much? It shouldn't. And yet it is. Why? GAH!! So confusing!! Then again, I sometimes wonder why it's so hard for us sometimes to see what's in front of our faces. Lately, it always seems like it's the most obvious things that escape our view. It reminds of me of a song by the Ataris "We spend our whole lives searching for all the things we think we want, yet never really knowing what we have".

Seriously now? (Rants)

I'm actually starting to get really disappointed with the actions of the some of the people in my YSA Ward. Actually, it's been happening for a while, I've just been noticing it a lot more. Don't know why, really. Oh well. What really gets me is the whole dating aspect of it. I was at the Institute after my scriptwriting class and was talking with a few people about dating and whatnot, and one of the girls from my ward was there. She currently has a boyfriend who lives in Arizona (I don't know how she does it. Or why, for that matter, long distance relationships are the stupidest things in the world) and she was saying that even if they weren't dating, she wouldn't even consider dating any of the guys from our Ward. What?! Why? That doesn't make any sense! Her excuse was that there was no one worth dating.

Now, some of you know who I'm talking about here, so many of you may be thinking that it's just the way she is to have a response like that. And that may be true. But it got me wondering if it's the general feeling among not just the girls, but the guys of the Ward as well. It just boggles the mind! I see plenty of attractive, single (or not engaged, at least), girls in the Ward. Many of whom, I know complains that they can't ever get dates. I haven't talked to the guys about this (it's like pulling teeth to get them to even do their home teaching, which I'm hoping the girls will help with ;D), but I can't help but think that it's the same feeling for them as well. Has it seriously gotten to the point where we have to look in other places to find what we think we're looking for? Have we truly forgotten to look in front of our own faces?!

Another thing that's related to this: STOP THE HYPOCRISY! Honestly, now. For you girls, don't say that you want the "nice guy" and then chase the jerk-offs! I'm not sure you understand how it makes the nice guys actually feel, or how it makes you look. When girls say that they want the "nice guy", it gives them hope that they could land someone who is (and I'm going to sound shallow here, but it's needed) hot. But for them to then go around and chase the guys that are EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE, it sends a message that it was only lip service, and the nice guys end up settling for what they can get. The same goes for the guys as well. For those in the Church and returned missionaries, don't say that you want a girl that you can take to the temple and then go after the girls that could end up getting you excommunicated, or at the very least your temple recommend taken away.

Now, I will admit, the guys have been a bit lacking in the asking girls out category, and I'm no exception. But that doesn't mean that the girls can't take initiative either. "But it's not our job! It's yours!" So? It's not like you're asking for a ring. It's just for the two of you to hang out, get to know each other better, and see if you two are who you're both looking for in a spouse. There's no commitment other than for a few hours, then it's over and you can decide from there.

There's also no need to go searching for a boyfriend or girlfriend right off the bat until after you've "shopped around". David Mikel, a fireside speaker from the 1970s, actually gave a great analogy when it came to this. He called it "The Top 10 List and The Vanilla Theory". It's really more two different analogies of the same principle, but it works.

Anyway, everyone who's single has a top 10 list of people they like, whether it's written down or in your head, or whatever. In a top 10 music countdown, how do they know what is number 1? And does it stay at number 1? Very rarely will a song stay at number 1 on the countdown for more than a month. The list constantly changes. It's the same with the list. How do you know, girls, that the "hottie" at number 1 is really number 1? What about number 8? What about number 17? You never know until you try them out.

Think of it this way: I take one girl to get some ice cream at Cold Stone (Brother Mikel uses Baskin Robins, but Cold Stone's better), and say that she could get any combination she wanted. She orders a vanilla with chocolate chips, nothing else. OK. I tell her about the combinations she can get, even those that aren't on the signs. But she says that she's comfortable with vanilla and chocolate chips. I ask her if she's tried any of the other combinations. "No". "Well, how do you know if you won't like them better?" "Because I like this, so I'm sticking with it". OK…So I take another girl to Cold Stone and do the same thing. She orders vanilla and chocolate chips. Here we go again, I think, and I tell her about the other combinations. "Oh, I know. I've tried (insert random combos here) but I still like vanilla and chocolate chips best".

Do you see what I'm getting at? So stop complaining that there's no one to date and start looking in front of your nose! The one who you're looking for may be right there.

Um....'k

I had completely forgotten that I had this thing! And here it's been since last August that I got it! Geez! OK, whatever. I'm over it. There's other issues at hand right now. So when it comes to posts on this thing, I'm going to try to be as specific as possible while being vague at the same time...if that makes sense. At least in a lot of the situations that I talk about. Naming names is not really the smartest thing to do, so I'll try my best not to do any of that here. But, again, we'll see.

I'm not really going to do an update. I mean, why should I? You already know what's happened since then. Besides, as this thing progresses I'll be able to fill in the blanks for a lot of you. In any case, Have fun all!